The Very Bad Reaction to Some Very Good News
by moeexyz
Summary: "So how d'you get Jewie to switch to boobs?" Annie and Britta announce that they're dating. All hell breaks loose. Annie/Britta with mentions of Jeff/Annie and Jeff/Britta


_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Community or Being John Malkovich._

_**A/N** - I have no idea what this even is. I was reading a Britta/Annie fic somewhere and then this just popped into my head. You should be aware, it's 3am. I have very bad judgement at this late hour, so sorry if it's horrible. Reviews to my monstrisity would be lovely._

**The Very Bad Reaction to Some Very Good News**

"WHAT?" Was the loud, first reaction to the words Britta had just said, which were "we're dating." _We_ being she and Annie. And the person who said the big, loud "what?" was Jeff.

"Nah, they're just joking" Troy said with a shrug.

Abed shook his head at his best friend. "Unlikely, Britta doesn't joke."

"Hey!" Britta reacted.

"Called it" Pierce said smugly.

"Seriously, WHAT?" Jeff repeated since everyone had ignored him the first time.

"Britta and I are dating" Annie said innocently, waiving a hand at Britta.

"That's..." Shirley hesitated for the longest ten seconds the group had ever sat through. "...nice."

"Seriously?" Jeff asked once more.

"Seriously" Britta said. And Jeff used to be a lawyer so he was especially good at telling when people were lying. Right now, it didn't seem like she was lying, but something felt very wrong about accepting this for what it was.

"Abed, are they serious?" Troy asked, still going along with the joke theory.

"I can't tell..." Abed trailed off. His eyes were darting between Annie and Britta, who were both standing, to make their big announcement. Everyone else was staring up at them in shock from their seats. They fell into the most awkward silence known to man, and then Pierce broke it, by being Pierce.

"So how d'you get Jewie to switch to boobs?"

Britta shot him a disgusted look.

"I can't believe you're actually being serious about this" Jeff said. He still had the same horrified expression that he'd had when Britta had first spoken the two dreaded words. Annie shrugged and finally sat down for the first time since the exchange began. Britta copied her.

"You're just jealous you won't get to make out with them anymore" Troy shot at Jeff.

"Neither will you" Jeff shot back.

"We'll see" Troy said with a smirk, and then gave Britta a flirtatious nod. She gave him a confused look in return.

"So how did you two...when did...what made you..." Shirley didn't seem sure about what question she wanted to ask.

"I'm usually good at studying human behaviours, but this baffles even me" Abed stated.

"So they're lesbians, who cares?" Pierce said sitting forward in his chair.

"It's not that they're lesbians, Pierce, it's that they're lesbians _with each other_" Troy explained.

"Homophobe" Pierce muttered.

"Guys, Pierce has a point though. I mean it's really not a big deal" Annie tried.

"Not a big deal, _shnot a shmig shmeal_" Jeff snapped. Annie looked at him like he was crazy.

"Look, we're not telling you this so you can discuss it. We just though that since you guys are our friends, we should share this with you" Britta said.

"Yeah, but really, we'd appreciate if you respected our privacy" Annie added.

"Sure. We can do that" Shirley said, in the best supportive voice she could muster.

"It's not like any of us want to know how this happened anyway" Jeff said, slightly bitter.

Troy frowned at Jeff. "Uh, _I_ do."

"Me too" Abed agreed. "I didn't see this coming. I have to know what I missed."

"What's there to miss? I thought we all knew Brittles swung for the other team" said Pierce.

"Maybe it's like in _Being John Malkovich_, where Maxine falls in love with Cameron Diaz, but only through John Malkovich's body."

"What?" Annie asked Abed.

"Did you two first have sex by controlling the mind of a famous actor, by any chance?"

"What?" This time it was both Annie and Britta.

"I don't think we wanna hear about their sex life" Shirley said.

"Are you crazy?" "Yes, we do." "Shhh!" Were Pierce, Jeff and Troy's simultaneous reactions.

"You're right, we shouldn't have told them" Britta said to Annie. Annie just nodded back to her.

"No, thank you for telling us. It's nice knowing that you have more things you share together, _just the two of you_" Shirley hissed the last few words. Annie and Britta looked at her with a mix of confusion and fear.

"Damn, Jeff is so lucky. He sits between lesbians" Pierce mumbled. Jeff gave him a _'seriously?'_ look.

"And he made out with them. I wanna make out with a lesbian" Troy added. Jeff moved his expression from Pierce to Troy.

"You guys should have warned me about this sooner. This really changes the group's dynamic" Abed said to the newly outed couple.

"Warned?" Britta asked, ready to defend herself if it's meant as an insult.

"Yeah, now Jeff's gonna make out with Shirley!" Troy exclaimed. Shirley jumped a little in her seat with shock.

"No, I had dibs!" Pierce said, angrily. Shirley looked even more surprised.

"They just said they were lesbians, why are you taking shots at me?" Jeff exclaimed.

"Because you're a slut, and you took all the lesbians!" Troy yelled back at him.

"You see what you guys are doing to us?" Abed said to the new couple.

"That's hardly our fault" Annie replied, slightly insulted.

"You just have to make out with _all_ the lesbians don't you. I bet you're the reason they changed teams" Troy said to Jeff, unaware of the other conversation going on.

"I didn't know they were lesbians, and if they changed teams it wasn't because of me" Jeff defended, with just a hint of cockiness.

"_Suuuure_. That's what they all say" Troy was giving him the full crazy eyes at this point.

"Enough! We're not dating okay! It was a joke. We were gonna tell you at the end of the day, but clearly you guys can't handle it!" Britta snapped, waiving her arms frantically in the air.

"Aw man!" groaned Pierce.

"Knew it" called Troy.

"Thank god" sighed Jeff.

Abed tilted his head and looked from Britta to Annie and back. Shirley just smiled, not sure whether she should laugh because it's a joke, or be mad that they wound them up for so long.

"Okay, now that that's cleared up, let's just study" Jeff said, taking charge again. They all opened their books but none started studying. Instead their eyes darted around the room from person to person until eventually...

"God damn it!" Jeff moaned and sat back in his seat.

"What?" Troy asked with curiosity.

"They're lying" Abed stated.

"What?" This time Troy said it with shock.

Britta rolled her eyes and smacked her head onto the wooden table in front of her.

"I told you we shouldn't have said anything" Annie said to her girlfriend.

"Ugh, I know" Britta mumbled, even though her face was squashed to the desk.

"I still don't see how this is a surprise to everyone" Pierce said.

"Seriously, what happened?" Jeff asked with annoyance.

"Of course you want to know...slut" Troy scoffed.

"How is that even relevant?" Jeff snapped back.

"Oh great, so I guess you'll be spending lots of time together. Just the _two_ of you" Shirley said in a threateningly sweet voice to the girls.

"You guys really screwed the pooch on this one" Abed said shaking his head at them.

Finally deciding to ignore the arguments around them, Britta mouthed _'wanna make out in the car?'_ to Annie, who considered it for a second, before nodding. They both slid out of their chairs and began to walk out without another word.

"Where are you going?"

"This isn't over, you'll still have to face fallout."

"I bet they're going to buy strap-ons."

"Pierce, it's not funny when you're actually right."

"When was it ever funny...whore?"

"I. Am. Not. A. Whore."

"Hey, I am funny, jerk!"

As Britta and Annie walked down the steps of the library, they held each other's hands, locking their fingers together and sighing happily.

"I told you we shouldn't have said anything" Annie repeated, with an adorably smug smile.

"I know" Britta said, smiling back. And then she kissed her girlfriend lightly. She'd be damned before she let the study group ruin this for her.


End file.
